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Fist F����ck Yourself 2014 was the fourth Fist F����ck Yourself event, taking place on March 2, 2014. The event was highlighted by Razor Ramon defending the World Heavyweight Championship against five opponents in an Elimination Chamber match, Brock Lesnar putting the WWE Championship on the line against DEFAULT, and Vigo the Carpathian squaring off against Holiday Hogan. __TOC__ Background With his victory in the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match, Prankster Ben has announced that he will challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of Diaz's Fuck Fest X. Ben hasn't held this title since he lost it in the main event of The Fest's eighth installment and has his sights set on it once more. On the next stop on the long, gravelly path to the biggest show of the year, these six opponents will step inside the dreaded Elimination Chamber to determine who Prankster Ben will face off against for the gold. One of these six combatants has a golden opportunity in front of them. With this triumph over five other competitors, they instantly join the main event of the biggest Fest of all time. Without a doubt, some of the most intense battles of the past year were held between DEFAULT and WPW's Problem Eliminator Brock Lesnar. Now, Lesnar is the WWE Champion and has his sights set on defending his title against the winner of one of the Elimination Chamber matches. But before he can do that, he'll have to once again do battle with one of his fiercest rivals with the gold up for grabs. The two had a run-in during the Laugh Like Pee-wee match that ended up seeing Lesnar propel himself out of the ring in an attempt to bring down his foe. With the Funny-5 now reinstated by Commissioner Barkley, the gloves are off for these two bitter rivals. Lesnar has messed with the DEFAULT time and time again, and now it looks like he could be getting the horns. After squeezing the life from Andre the Giant at Laugh Like Pee-wee, Vigo the Carpathian became 5-0. Seemingly, the Ruler of Carpathia and Moldavia had battled his way through everyone who could potentially defeat him. But also at Laugh Like Pee-wee, we saw the reigning Christmas Champion Holiday Hogan make his mark on the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match. With his immense seasonal power, Hogan seemed like the perfect opponent for Vigo. It was for that very reason that Vigo the Carpathian demanded Holiday Hogan return to the ring at Fist Fuck Yourself to have the biggest match of both of their tenures. Hogan was reluctant, but as all the little Holimaniacs rallied behind him to end Vigo's devastating streak, Holiday bodyslammed a portrait of his challenge and leg-dropped it. We can only assume that this means the match is on. A challenger for the World Heavyweight Championship has been decided, leaving the gate wide open for a challenger to step up and compete for the WWE Championship at Diaz's Fuck Fest X. On the other side of that gate, however, is the merciless Elimination Chamber. These six men will enter this makeshift prison with the opportunity to face the winner of that evening's title match between Brock Lesnar and his opponent. Half of these combatants have held the prize before; one is the longest-reigning champion whereas another has held the gold more times than anyone. Some of them, such as Macho Man, have felt deserving of big match opportunities and will receive one here. The action is this match-up will likely get so out of hand that it's doubtful the Chamber will even be able to contain it. Who's going to The Fest? The past few months have not been the most stable for The Justice Bros. After earning a tag title shot, The Hurricane was sidelined with an injury after stumbling down a flight of stairs. Soon after, Super Sheik was left in a bad state after single-handedly doing battle with Carlito and Feel the Burn. The two have both agreed that the team never had this much trouble as a three hero unit. After winning the World Tag Team Championship with The Red Head, Dynamite Derek's faith in him grew even more. However, the Ruby Rubik's Cube left everyone puzzled yet again when he threw down his newly-won title belt and left the ring. Since this incident, The Red Head has finally come clean with Dynamite Derek. After suffering a traumatic event last year, he now suffers from a condition that causes him to lash out uncontrollably and unprovoked. Dynamite Derek attempted to control his giggling upon discovering the punny nature of an angry man having a Red Head. Dynamite's acceptance of The Red Head as a tag partner finally sent Super Sheik and The Hurricane over the edge. The two decided that they were going to have to solve their problem the hard way and challenge their fellow teammates to a match for the titles. Could this finally spell self-destruction for the once-unified Justice Bros? After going off the radar for a couple weeks, Goldust returned in the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match with a new look and a new attitude. Goldie was apparently motivated by the mocking of WPW's Intercontinental Champion, Tajiri, and used this inspiration to create a new identity for himself: that of a champion. With his desire to put some gold around his golden waist, The Bizarre One issued a challenge to Tajiri for his coveted title. However, The Japanese Buzzsaw refused to give Goldust a shot, claiming that doing so would dishonor the memory of Walter. Instead, Tajiri decided to offer a title shot to his partner Wrestler: Unstoppable that he'd receive on the grandstand of the tenth Fest. Just when it seemed that the first match announced for the Fest was to be a grabass title match between two WPW members, Commissioner Barkley intervened by making a No. 1 Contender's match for the Intercontinental Title between Wrestler: Unstoppable and Goldust. Will the man with the Midas touch take one step closer to championship glory or will Double-O Seven be saying "He died" when he's through with Tajiri's odd job. Results On the final stop before the biggest Fest of all time, we saw two Elimination Chambers and other battles that helped shaped the face of the grand event. As titles changed hands, rivalries began to emerge. On top of all this, a mysterious pirate ship had docked outside the arena prior to the event and rumors said that an unknown figure had been tossing rum bottles at the arena all day long. Kicking the night off, Super Sheik and The Hurricane looked to help bring glory back to the Justice Bros by getting the tag team titles away from The Red Head. This forceful excommunication saw the hooded vigilante humbled by the Camel Clutch. As Derek saw the fury build in the eyes of the Head, he began to lose faith in the man he's been defending for months. The Red Head then proceeded to apparently lose the match intentionally, leaving Derek bewildered once more. One thing is certain, however. Super Sheik and The Hurricane are the new World Tag Team Champions. Goldust has been on a crusade to prove himself worthy of winning the big one on his own, and proving Tajiri wrong that he doesn't need WPW to be successful. To get an opportunity to face the Japanese Buzzsaw for the Intercontinental Title, Goldust first had to go through Wrestler: Unstoppable. The power of the secret agent man seemed too much for the Bizarre One at first, but momentum changed following an Airplane Spin at the hands of Count Out. Goldust managed to pick up the victory and punch his ticket for The Fest. In the first of two Elimination Chamber matches, six opponents entered for the opportunity to face the winner of the Brock Lesnar vs. DEFAULT championship bout. The match-up kicked off with J-Pac and Josh the Cat. RVD and Carlito joined the fast-paced action, followed by Sheamus. Macho Man, determined to prove himself as main event caliber, entered last and quickly did away with a wounded RVD. Shortly after this, Savage proceeded to do the same to a downed Sheamus as well as Carlito. As Josh the Cat took his exit at the hands of The Infinity Kid, it came down to Macho Man and J-Pac. Macho eventually would ascend to the top of the chamber pod, intending to put it all on the line for a devastating double axe handle. Unfortunately, he miscalculated and found himself flat on the mat being pinned by J-Pac. With this victory, J-Pac will face the winner of DEFAULT and Lesnar for the WWE Championship at Diaz's Fuck Fest X. Vigo the Carpathian once again put his undefeated streak on the line against one of the most powerful forces in the universe: Holiday Hogan. Hogan threw many points and punches in the direction of the unbeaten undead, seemingly having the match in his grasp. It didn't take long, however, for Vigo to suck the holiday energy from the soul of the Holister. The demonic Carpathian left Holiday Hogan lifeless in the ring, extending his winning streak to 6-0. After this victory, one now has to truly wonder if there's anyone left for Vigo to face. At Walter's World last year, Brock Lesnar made his debut by assaulting DEFAULT. Ever since, the two have managed to cross paths at every event. With this match, the two would finally bring their bitter rivalry to an end. Lesnar viciously battered DEFAULT, but the freak on a leash proved that he had more fire and determination in him than he'd ever had in his previous encounters with the Problem Eliminator. Although he'd found himself in the Kimura lock early on, DEFAULT managed a comeback and looked as though he may be leaving with the title around his waist. Just then, DEFAULT's uncle, Winslow J. Wiley, resurfaced. In an olive drab suit and a black headband, Winslow turned his one-eyed sight on Lesnar. The beat-down gave DEFAULT the count out victory, but not the championship that he had sought after. Winslow appeared apologetic, but DEFAULT's frustrations were clear. In the final bout of the evening, Razor Ramon placed his World Heavyweight Title on the line against five other hungry combatants inside the Elimination Chamber. The bald behemoths, Big Show and Kingpin, seemed to dominate throughout the contest but it was Prankster Skates' stolen Robocop outfit that seemed to be drawing attention. As Razor Ramon was pinned, it was guaranteed that there would be a new champion crowned. Either Big Show, Kingpin, or Prankster Skates. The World's Largest Athlete fought back against an onslaught from both opponents, but eventually was defeated by the massive Kingpin. After a series of diving maneuvers, Prankster Skates hit Wilson Fisk with a splash that earned him the coveted World Heavyweight Championship. With this victory, it was made official that the main event of Diaz's Fuck Fest X would pit Prankster Ben against his tag team partner Prankster Skates with the World Heavyweight Title on the line. As the show came to a close, a shrouded figure was seen rising from the hull of the pirate ship. The figure emerged, revealing himself to be none other than the presumed deceased Walter P. Wiley. Walter left us with one bit of knowledge that even a team of the world's greatest detectives couldn't uncover: who was it that caused him to plummet off a balcony on New Year's Eve? Walter pointed his bony finger at his own flesh and blood..."It was Winslow!" Apparently, his hands full with his SvR06 Awards, Walter stepped out on the balcony when he spotted a Sears catalog. He decided that he wanted to have a "turkey jerky" along with his fresh air, but didn't want to put down his earned and stolen awards. Just then, Winslow approached him, intending to intimidate and tell Walter that his reign of terror and treatment of DEFAULT had to stop. Walter then threw down his trophies and put up his dukes. However, the former commissioner couldn't have counted on the fact that he'd trip on those numerous trophies and topple over the side of the balcony to the street below. With this knowledge now in the open, no charges will be filed against Winslow. But what will DEFAULT think about Winslow's forceful methods and will Walter be able to resume his run as commissioner of SvR06?